so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
this will be a night to untag.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
