D3 body, D1 cock
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
