everyone is single if you try hard enough
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
