Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
