well I can't set my house on fire every night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
