No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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