Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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