Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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