Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
