idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
