During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
