Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
