you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
