I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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