Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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