Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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