My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
