yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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