I wish I only lived at night.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
