i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
