You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
