You just made me feel so damn special
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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