why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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