Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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