I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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