how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
