That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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