Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Oh god it's open bar.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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