I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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