I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
