a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
