i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
