I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
