I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
