But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
