Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize