I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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