We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just pee around me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
