You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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