I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
