I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
