i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
