She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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