he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize