Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
