I bet he comes in French.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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