Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
