Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

And?

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(805): View more from California

In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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(248): View more from Michigan

Her vagina should come with caution tape.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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(802): View more from Vermont

beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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(563): View more from Iowa

Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.

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