I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
