Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
