I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
