Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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