I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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