I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
