There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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