I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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