There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
