I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
