My brain says no but my pants say off.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
