speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize