Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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